Sadly we witness all too often women and men not receiving the sensitivity they need and deserve following the experience of a miscarriage.
Regardless of what point during the pregnancy that this occurs, it is still a major loss and may trigger unprocessed feelings from other experiences in the past. It leaves the person vulnerable to potential post traumatic stress disorder, depression or anxiety.
However the potential devastation for the women is often not understood by medical professionals or by their family and friends. Short staffing and resources stretched to the limit mean that professionals do not have the time or capacity to be there for them when they need it most. Unfortunately 1 in 4 women suffer miscarriage, but just because it is common doesn’t justify normalising or dismissing the experience for the individual.
Women often experience themselves as "just a number", “cold and clinical” when she doesn’t get the empathy and support she needed.
For men, their experience is often given even less consideration and attention; sidelined because “I wasn’t the one who was pregnant”.
So as a society, let’s recognise that the bereft parent-to-be needs time to grieve, and offer the safe space in which to talk about it should they so wish.
Trauma is trauma whether it happened in the context of a birth trauma, pregnancy-related trauma or early in pregnancy. Let’s help them heal.